Our second in our series from guest blogger Chelsea Weidmann on neurodivergent kids in ballet

I recently heard the phrase “Extroverts sparkle, introverts glow.” How perfect is that? Everybody gets to shine, just in a different way.

But in the competitive ballet school bubble, it can feel like your child, who is so clearly glowing with fire and determination, is getting overlooked. After all, we’re more used to admiring sequins than foxfire. (Foxfire is a bioluminescence that makes some fungi glow and can sometimes be bright enough to read by in the dark!)

At least 25% of the world considers themselves introverted. (Specific numbers are hard to pin down since we all slide around on the introvert/extrovert spectrum depending on various factors.) This means that in a class of 20 dancers, at least five of them are introverts. And yes, all five of them can put on an extroverted costume to help them sparkle. But it takes a lot of energy to do that and it isn’t sustainable to do every day. So here are some suggestions to help your dancer glow brightly!

Be Strategic About Eye Contact

Introverted people tend to make eye contact less frequently and get more drained by it, so choose carefully. Entering the room, exiting the room, and any time a teacher gives a personal correction to your dancer are key times to make eye contact with the teacher. Try to sprinkle in a couple of other times during class as well, but those three are musts. And in case you’re wondering how long is too long, in the U.S. four seconds of sustained eye contact is considered normal.

“Be higher energy”

This can mean a lot of things, which is pretty infuriating for introverts (who tend to be deep thinkers and probably would have given more specific feedback had they been the teacher). If/when you get this correction, start by noticing your eye-line. How high in the room do you usually look?

If you are looking at your waist or port de bras in the mirror, that’s too low. If your gaze is usually around your teacher’s eye level, you’re getting closer but you’ll probably be interpreted as “higher energy” if the normal level for your eye line during dancing is a few inches above your teacher’s head. When you aren’t dancing, lower your eye-line back to your teacher’s eye level.

“Don’t forget to smile!”

I hate this as much as the next person, but if you’re trying to catch the attention of a teacher or director, smiling occasionally goes a long way. Along with eye-line, a small smile when you enter and exit make a difference. It is also okay to smile during class work! If you know your pirouette was good, smile as you land. If your teacher is giving a petit allegro combination that you’re excited to try, smile. Introverts are totally just as happy as extroverts, but because they are often reflecting on ideas they tend to forget to outwardly demonstrate their happiness. 

Opportunities to recharge during long rehearsal days?

There is real pressure (and sometimes benefit) to spend time with peers during breaks, but introverts need alone time. Many prefer larger personal space bubbles than their extroverted peers, and that can be particularly hard to find in the school hallways. It’s not always possible for you to be in the parking lot during their break so they can spend 10 minutes in quiet, but is there a way to signal to friends “thanks, but no thanks?”

Headphones can be a great signal, but some people hesitate to bring anything with monetary value (other than pointe shoes) into the studio. I have seen a student tape a notecard that simply said “NO.” to the back of their phone; that seemed pretty effective. Finding ways to genuinely recharge while still at the studio is tricky, but is a skill that will benefit your dancer throughout their career. 

Casting can feel like a struggle for introverted dancers

They feel ready to perform as an outgoing character but if they’ve never shown that in the classroom, there’s a good chance the teacher doesn’t see the potential. It’s easy to assume favoritism in casting but it’s rarely true. If you feel like your dancer is stuck in a casting rut, the first thing you or they should do is have a conversation with their teacher/director about what they can do to better prepare for these types of roles. If your dancer needs stronger pointe work, being introverted isn’t the reason she wasn’t cast in the lead.

At the end of this conversation—where you and/or your dancer are genuinely interested in constructive feedback —it is okay to let the teacher know there is interest in an understudy opportunity if one arises. There is no guarantee that this will lead to a performance in the understudied role, and it means more work and time at the studio, so only bring it up if it’s a real option. But it can be a great learning opportunity for your dancer and a chance for the staff to see them in a new light.

Introverts think first and talk later

This means that they often have questions about concepts or combinations long after the teacher has moved on. Ask the teacher how they would like to be asked these “after the fact” questions. Some prefer email, others will start class with “does anyone have follow-up questions from last time?”

A dance corrections journal is a great place for your dancer to keep track of their ideas (and you can get a great one from The Ballet Help Desk!). If there seems to be a theme your dancer has questions about, encourage them to set up a meeting with their teacher to take their learning deeper. FYI, most teachers do not like being asked questions right before class starts.  

Being introverted does not mean your dancer won’t be successful as a dancer. In fact, my best ballet friends are all introverts and have all had fulfilling careers in this profession. The key isn’t learning how to sparkle, it’s positioning yourself in ways where your glow is undeniable. 

Chelsea Weidmann is a ballet teacher and parent of a neurodivergent child. She is passionate about ensuring that ALL children have access to quality dance education. Learn more on her website.