We recently got a question from a parent saying that they were concerned their dancer’s studio was “toxic.” As much as none of us wants to believe it, there are studios out there that have this reputation. This post will talk about what to watch out for and also how to research your local ballet studios to avoid ending up in a toxic mess. Following are some areas to look out for.

Yelling

The most common complaint we hear is that the teachers yell a lot. Yelling can be fine as long as it’s done in a positive way. In fact, my son responded far better to those teachers who were more expressive. He had more trouble with those teachers who were more reserved. He claimed that with the more expressive teachers, “you always knew where you stood.” 

However, when the yelling spills over into personal attacks on a student, where the dancer is embarrassed or made to feel “less than,” this is when red flags need to go up. And, pay attention to whether or not this is a regular occurrence or simply a one-off when the teacher is having a bad day. While one-offs are still not acceptable, it’s the consistent verbal abuse that can drive students away.

Unrealistic Expectations

Unrealistic expectations of your dancer is another big red flag. The best teachers can recognize the strengths and weaknesses of your child and should be able to work within those constraints. Good teachers get the most out of a dancer’s natural ability. Like we’ve mentioned several times, most kids will not end up dancing professionally. The good teachers know this and focus on getting the absolute best out of dancers regardless of ability.

If a teacher is pushing your student well beyond what they are capable of, either because of level of development or ability, seriously consider if this is where you want your dancer to train.

Unhealthy Competition

The other thing we’ve seen at toxic places is when teachers set up competitive situations between students. Sometimes, setting up a sense of competition can work quite well. When my son was 11, his teacher regularly said things to him like “Emma can do four attitude turns. Why can you only do three?” Now, for Sam, that motivated him. And, his teachers knew that. 

In addition, despite establishing what was some healthy competition between students, there was always the notion of shared success that was emphasized within the studio. Success of one was considered success for all.

When it gets toxic is when kids are pitted against one another and it results in failure being celebrated by other students. For example, one dancer falls out of a set of pirouettes and the dancers who are watching snicker and nod to each other. We’ve seen this as well. If this is the culture that is fostered at the studio, the toxic flag is flying high.

This culture of toxic competitiveness can also affect how students interact with one another. Are the students lifting each other up or cheering for their failure? At one school I’m familiar with, there was a last minute change in casting. The student who was put into the show had checked the casting board earlier in the day and did not see her name. So, she assumed she was not required to be there.

Two other students noticed the change and decided to “teach this girl a lesson,” and not call her to let her know she was a last minute add. Fortunately, someone did call her, but this is where red flags should go up. Often this culture is set by an administration that looks the other way on this behavior. But, it bleeds over to the way students treat one another and leads to an environment where students feel like they have to watch their back every minute of the day.

Body Shaming

Ok, and of course, body shaming! There is simply no place for that in any studio. We all know the ballet aesthetic. But, kids are hard enough on themselves. They don’t need to hear it from ANYONE. If you hear a whiff about body shaming, run the other way. This is not a place you want to be. No excuses, just run.

Gossiping And Playing Favorites

Finally, watch out for teachers who gossip and play favorites. And, as an aside, please don’t be that parent that tries to cozy up to the teachers just to get the tea on other kids. Gossipy teachers can be the death knell to a school. And, we’ve seen it – the teachers who make fun of certain kids behind their backs, the ones who play favorites for no discernible reason, etc. We’ve even seen a teacher regularly wink at one of the students in his class. And, every other dancer saw it. All of this can make for a really uncomfortable environment.

So, Is My Studio Toxic?

So, as you’re evaluating a studio that your dancer might attend, how do you figure out if the place is toxic? First, send your dancer to a trial class and sit in the lobby while they’re in class. When we were shopping for ballet studios for my son, I did this every time. And, it paid off. At one place, I sat in the lobby and absolutely no one talked with me. Mind you, I can talk to a pigeon and have a good chat. But, not at this place! And, when my son came out of class, he looked at me and said, “Don’t ever make me go back there.” 

Another way to tell is to meet with the head of the studio. They’re the people who set the tone for the school, so pay special attention to how they treat you. Are they warm and welcoming, or do they act as if they don’t have the time to talk to you? Also, don’t let the first impression with the office staff throw you off. When we went to visit the studio my son would ultimately attend, the person at the front desk treated us with such disdain that we almost walked out. Fortunately, we stayed to meet the director and it became clear that this would be a great place to train. And it was!

Next, talk to as many parents of dancers as you can. Usually, a studio’s reputation will be pretty well-established. The more people you talk to, the more likely it is that you’ll get a realistic picture of how the studio operates. 

Finally, read reviews. Although review sites like Yelp can be brutal, you can often see trends. If the studio has 43 five-star reviews and one or two one star reviews, you can make a pretty safe bet that it’s a good place. Conversely, If you see a whole bunch of two and three star reviews, that might warrant some caution.

Making the decision to send your dancer to a specific studio seems like it should be pretty easy. And, most of the time it is. But, it’s worth spending the extra time to get it right the first time to avoid having to go through the whole evaluation process again!