**This post has been updated**

A while back, we got a question from a reader that asked the following: My dancer is heading off to their first “real” summer intensive. What can I do to make sure they have the best experience possible?

We addressed this in one of our podcasts but some of you asked us to also publish it as a blog. Hmmm, reading things at work maybe?! We get it – I even had a fake data screen that I popped up whenever anyone would walk by my cube!

It can be a little stressful sending your dancer off for the first time! But, with a little advance preparation, and a few key conversations with them, things should go smoothly!

At this age, kids are walking that line between treating summer programs like camp vs. a more serious experience. We always hope summer intensives are fun, but by the time your dancer is 13 or 14, they also need to start looking ahead, but just a bit.

What To Consider Before Your Dancer Leaves

One thing parents can do right now is to join the Facebook group that inevitably exists for the program your dancer is attending. These groups can provide a wealth of information from parents who are veterans of the summer intensive scene. It’s also a great networking opportunity for parents! Remember our blog post about the value of the parent network? This is one of the ways it starts!

You’ll also want to make sure your dancer has enough ballet gear. You’ve probably ordered any uniforms by now, but also be sure to stock up on ballet shoes. Assume they will need more than they think they will. Kids are dancing a lot, often much more than they are during the year. So, buy one or two more pairs than you think you need.  Put your orders in now. There is a shortage of pointe shoes for certain brands as some shoes are taking two months to come in. The last thing you want to be doing is Fedexing them shoes!

There are also pointe shoe dryers that you can buy for your dancer. They are made with charcoal and silica and can be inserted into shoes to help wick away moisture that builds up and it also helps dry the glue. You can find them on our Summer Intensive Essentials Guide.

Also, you must talk budget! At most programs with housing and a meal plan, kids don’t need huge sums of money. You want them to have enough to buy some schwag from the program (which they will wear on the daily when they get home) as well as for snacks, outings and the occasional late night Doordash order. And let’s be clear. At some programs, your Doordash bill may be higher than at others.

If your student has a phone, Apple Pay or Google Cash is your best bet. Debit cards also help, but you run the risk of them getting lost. We’d also suggest avoiding credit cards because there is too much opportunity for them to get lost or stolen. 

And, depending on the number of outings the summer program offers, your budget may need to adjust up or down. Our advice? If it’s in your budget, have your student go on every outing. It’s a great way to get to know more kids.

Packing can also be an issue. If you have a kid like mine, you’re in luck. Packing is a breeze! One duffel bag with sheets or a sleeping bag, plus a few sets of street clothes, along with a carry-on with their dance clothes, and you’re done. This last point is important – if your dancer is flying, pack at least two days of ballet clothes in a carry-on just in case bags get lost in transit.

For others, it may be a good idea to do a dry run. Remind your student that they are going away for 3-5 weeks, not for the rest of their life. They really don’t need to bring their bulletin board of photos, their desk lamp and all their stuffed animals. Ok, maybe a few of the animals! But seriously, pack smart because baggage fees are no joke. 

And packing at the end of a program will have to compete with all of those tearful goodbyes your dancer is doing!

Some parents tend to overthink packing. They buy bath mats, collapsible trash cans, and sooooo many canisters and organizers. You don’t need them. Really, all that stuff will end up in the “donation bin” when they leave.

Learn To Adult

Adulting is another thing your dancer should practice well before they leave. Laundry! They need to know how to do it. Bring some sort of set up for drying the many dance clothes that don’t do well in the dryer. There are lots of drying racks that you can buy that are easily portable.

And, you really don’t want all of their clothes coming back one color. On this, I have two words for you. Color Catchers. Buy them, use them, love them. When your kid throws all their clothes into one load, Color Catchers keep colors from bleeding onto everything. You can buy them online or in some grocery stores or drug stores. Another pro-tip? Send your dancer with laundry sheets rather than pods or even bottles of detergent. Not only will the planet thank you, but they pack easily and don’t explode in transit!

Also, towels get moldy. Gently suggest that washing them only once during a five week program probably isn’t the best idea.

Your dancer should also know how to clean a bathroom. At many programs, kids are living in the dorms for four or five weeks and rarely is there any sort of cleaning service. So, grab a scrub brush and get cracking on practicing how to keep that bathroom sparkling! 

If they are going to a summer program in a city, teach them to be street smart. No open toed shoes, no headphones with loud music when walking through the city and no open pockets in their backpacks. If they’ll be on public transportation, review the subway maps and teach them how to buy passes. And, please dispel the myth that cities are big bad scary places. Most programs that are in large cities are in safe areas.

Communication

Finally, establish how often you’ll talk on the phone. And, don’t be surprised if it changes. The best thing that can happen is that they don’t call often. That means they’re busy and having fun! Despite neither of us ever hearing from our kids, rumor has it that Sunday nights were the go-to time for calling home.

Despite all the fun, you may get a few teary phone calls over the course of the intensive. Thursday tears can be a real thing. What this means is this: Thursday is mid-week for the intensive schedule. Your kids are most likely dancing longer and harder than they ever have before. They have less down-time and are in a lot of new social situations. 

Some nights, kids just run out of gas. It doesn’t mean they can’t handle it. Nor does it mean they’re having a bad time. It’s likely the opposite. They’re wiped out physically and you’re a safe space to be a bit emotional. By the next day, it will be fine! 

One little parent hack we’d suggest – follow your kids on social media if they allow it. It gives you a bit of an inside line on what they’re doing while they’re away. If they’re on Instagram, set up an account and follow them. Same goes for Snapchat. 

Now, only do this if your kids are ok with it. Not everyone is, and that needs to be respected.

Finally, parents, this is a great time to slow those helicopter rotors! Your kids are away and on their own and it’s a great opportunity for them to learn some independence and how to advocate for themselves. Roommate problems? It happens. As a first step, let your kid handle it with the RA. Trouble in the studio? Same thing – the kids should talk with the teachers about whatever the issue is. You should only step in as a last resort.

How Dancers Can Prepare

The first and most important thing for your dancers is that they stay in shape. A lot of kids who go to their first summer intensive are surprised by how much dancing there is. And, if they’re in a program during the year that meets after school, it’s likely the dance hours will go up a lot in any summer intensive. 

So, make sure they arrive in good shape. If they have a break between when their home studio ends the year and when they leave for summer, have them do something – swimming, pilates, drop-in classes, whatever. They don’t need to do anything hard core, but they should stay active so they don’t arrive out of shape.

If your dancer is nursing an injury make sure they get the rehab they need before the program starts. Injuries are inevitable. It is really hard to dance that many hours every day if they are not at 100% or close to it.  

In terms of meeting people, one thing our kids always did was to find other dancers on Instagram who had posted that they were going to the same summer program. They would regularly reach out to those kids before they arrived anywhere. 

Now your kids might be more introverted, but it’s a good idea for them to do this because by the time they arrive at their program, there may be some familiar faces.

Arriving At Your Ballet Summer Intensive

Once you all arrive at the program, parents, you need to get out of there. Do not take them out to dinner. The first night is when a lot gets set and you want your kid there for all of that! Leave the Target runs to when the RA’s take the kids later in the week. And, they always do. I guarantee you that there is nothing they need from Target that can’t wait a few days. If it’s critical, run over and get it for them. Leave your kid at the dorms.

And, kids, once you’re there, grab your roommate and either start knocking on doors or go hang out in the commons area. That is the best way to meet other kids. Remember that you probably aren’t the only one who’s a little nervous!

During Ballet Class

We took the liberty of asking some veteran dancers for a few other tips and here’s what they told us.

First, if any year-round students are there for the summer, watch them and follow their lead. They’ll help you with everything from where the bathroom is to what the protocol is for when to take your sweats off in class. They can also help you get the inside line on teachers and can sometimes help you avoid doing something a teacher doesn’t like.

And, if your student thinks they might want to attend this program either later that year or in a few years, it’s good to get to know the year-round kids to understand what the vibe’s like during the year. 

One heads-up, your dancer might find that the year-round kids come across as cliquey. They may be, but it’s more likely that they’re just so comfortable with each other that they don’t think about the new kids who might be coming in for summer. Encourage your dancer to try and break into new groups. Remember that everyone is nervous and trying to make friends. 

Also, encourage your dancer to establish a good relationship with the teachers. We’re not saying to totally brown nose – that would come across as kind of obnoxious. But, when you see them in the hallway, at least smile and say hello. And, of course, always thank them after class.

When your dancer is in class, dancers we spoke with suggested that your student always take a barre spot with other students. It’s another way to get to know people. 

And, during class, don’t be the student that always hangs out in the back or always pushes to the front. Give it a few days – it will become clear what the protocol is when it comes to who goes to the front. Every program has a natural flow – just give it a bit to figure it out.

While in class, this is the best time for kids to start sizing up the other students. Remember our blog post about how to tell if your dancer is “good enough?” This is where it starts. Your kids should take a good hard look at how they stack up against the other students in the class. 

You will hear parents say, “Don’t worry about the other kids. Just focus on your work.” If your dancer wants to dance professionally, they need to get used to figuring out how they stack up. Of course you want them to focus on their work. But, they need to always be aware of where they fit. If your dancer finds that the talent is higher than they’re used to, this is a great opportunity to figure out how to ratchet it up and learn what your dancer needs to do to get to that next level. There is always someone better. 

Closing Thoughts

Finally, this is where your reputation starts to get built. Remember that your dancer will see these kids over and over and over. And, this is where the networking needs to start. 

Your dancer’s reputation will follow them beyond this one summer. Kids will remember if you were friendly or only talked to a select group of kids. They’ll remember if you only hung out with the “cool kids” or if you worked under the “more the merrier” mantra. Kids will also remember how your dancer behaves in class. Do they work hard? Are they helpful to other dancers who might be struggling? Or are they a diva?

One other pro-tip to pass along to your kids. Write thank-you notes. While not expected, these teachers work hard and a little acknowledgment of that is always nice. When our kids went to summer intensives, they took a box of thank you notes with them and wrote one to each teacher they had during the program. They also wrote one to the main summer coordinator. And, don’t forget the RAs. Given what RAs often had to deal with, we included a $10 Starbucks gift card with the thank you notes. Again, this is not expected, but a little kindness will be appreciated. 

We’re sure your kids will have a great time this summer and with a little advance planning, hopefully you can avoid some of the common mishaps that happen with a first intensive. Have a great summer!

P.S. Be sure to check our Summer Intensive Essentials Guide for must-have items for every dancer’s summer training!