At ten, my son said he wanted to dance professionally. We patted him on the head and thought “ok, hotshot, you keep dreaming.” We just assumed it was like all his friends who said they wanted to play major league baseball or go to the NBA. Little kid delusions!
Over the years, his friends tempered their dreams of professional sports as they realized that the world was a big place and was full of former little league all-stars. But, our kid kept going.
Successful ballet dancers all share three traits. First, they’re lucky – they won the genetic lottery and have the right facility for dance. Second, they are extremely coachable. Finally, they have the grit necessary to have a career.
Not all dancers want a professional career, though. Parents, this is where you come in. You should ask your dancer what they want out of ballet. A professional career? A great extracurricular? Not only should you ask this once, you should ask it A LOT!
Ballet, like anything competitive, is a pyramid. Only a few make it all the way to a professional company. Kids stop serious ballet training for myriad reasons but it doesn’t mean that their time in ballet needs to be fraught with disappointment or unfulfillment. Many of your kids have not yet gone through puberty, entered high school, or had boyfriends or girlfriends. There are lots of reasons that kids stop dance. And, nearly all of the time, it’s the right decision for that particular child.
Dance keeps kids really busy and it helps build valuable life skills like handling criticism and rejection, working collaboratively and managing time effectively and focusing on the long game rather than the instant gratification. These are all important executive functions that many teenagers struggle with.
If your dancer has all of the traits we talked about, keep forging that path. But, be clear-eyed about what your child wants out of dance and be ready to support them at whatever level they choose to operate. Regardless of their success in their dance career, they will be uniquely positioned to be successful and valuable contributors to the human race.
As always, we’d love to hear your feedback! Feel free to leave comments below and we’ll try to address your questions and comments quickly!