Wow, we never saw serious ballet coming! But, after ten years at the barre, it’s pretty clear this is the direction she’s taking. So, here is a little blog entry that I’m calling Ballet Parent 101. Your dancer is going to learn a ton as they continue down this path. But, guess what? You’re going to learn just as much, if not more! And, where are you going to get this oh so coveted knowledge? Not from teachers. Not from your kid. And, definitely not from the Internet (except maybe from this blog!). 

You’re going to get it from other ballet parents (and of course, from us!). This is your tribe. Join it. Support it. Love it. 

When your dancer has successes, these are the people who will celebrate with you. And, the setbacks? Your tribe will have the shoulders you’ll cry on. And, trust me, there will be tears. Maybe happy tears and maybe frustrated tears. Either way, you’ll need those shoulders.

Now, what kind of a ballet parent do you want to be? Well, since you’re here, I’ll tell you what we’ve seen that works well. In recreational sports, the mantra is that coaches coach, kids play and parents cheer. 

It isn’t much different in ballet. It may be a little more intense than rec soccer, but your job is to support your dancer. Support comes in a hundred different ways. But, the key to supporting your dancer is to listen. And, listen a lot. 

Ask your dancer what their goals are. Ask them this on a regular basis because it may change. Ask them if they want to keep dancing. And, no is an absolutely fine answer!

Remember that this is your child’s path – not yours. If you want ballet success more than your dancer, take a look in the mirror and ask yourself who benefits from this.

When I used to wait for my daughter in the lobby, there was a dancer who used to come out of class and report every single thing to her mom. Corrections she got, how other dancers did in class and any little thing that the teacher said to the students. I really felt for this kid because it seemed like there was so much pressure. I wondered who wanted it more – the mom or the kid. Dancers put enough pressure on themselves. You’re there to listen and support them.

Ok, let’s talk about the car ride home. Over and over, athletes who were asked about their childhood experience with sports, said that the car ride home could be tough. They recounted stories of being grilled by an over-involved parent who wanted to dissect every aspect of the practice or game. 

By the time your dancer is in your car, they are wiped out, both physically and emotionally. The best question is: “how are you doing?” This may open up an easy conversation all the way home. Or, they may put their headphones on and stare out the window. Just remember, you’re there to support and listen.

There might also be drama in the studio. Are you that parent who is going to call the other parent to try to work it out? Or, are you going to help your dancer develop the tools to address the issue on their own?

What about if your dancer is having trouble in class? Or maybe she isn’t getting the casting she had hoped for. Is your first reaction to call the teacher? Perhaps. But, you may be better off coaching your dancer on how to talk to their teacher directly.

There are so many other examples I could point to. The bottom line is that you’re a parent first and the manager of a ballet student second. Your child may not be a dancer forever. But, they are your child forever and that matters more than any success in ballet.